A dear friend has this unwavering ritual of drinking the juice of two lemons with hot water, first thing every morning. The lemons must be freshly squeezed to maintain high levels of vitamin C. I, meanwhile, prefer the sweet seduction of ripe chirimoyas, with their deliciously soft texture. They can be difficult to get in the UK but are easily found in Spain or Latin America. In 2020, the BBC reported a scientific study that listed the chirimoya as the most nutritious fruit in the world – high in vitamins A, C, B1, B2 and potassium.
I am not a very binary person and, therefore, like to try new things. However, I am quick to decide what I do or don’t like. After trying lemon with hot water in my morning routine, I decided that this was not so bad after all. It has proved quite effective at keeping my appetite down, though definitely not as enjoyable as my chirimoyas, which are probably higher in sugar but more indulgent. As I write I’m picturing the image, just cut open the chirimoya and scoop the custardy inside with a spoon. However, most of the time now, when I am in Vienna, where lemon and water is on most menus, I include the sour lemon ritual in my morning.
I stick with my principle that most things in moderation are okay; exploring new things and mixing things up is good, and that life is not about either/or, but about enjoying the variety of what life and our planet has to offer.
Why do I tell this story and why at Christmas time?
First, my writing partner, Dr David Oxley, started the newsletter with the lemons. Second, he is of a ‘slightly’ more binary, more structured disposition than me, which I sometimes love and sometimes hate. This complementary nature of our partnership makes us better writers.
This season sees some of the most polarised months: December is full of spoils, abundance and little moderation; followed by January, a month of New Year’s Resolutions (dry January, a new fitness membership, better sleep routine, more frugal lifestyle, losing weight, being a better person), many of which don’t even survive to February. Let me make this final column of the year an ode to a ‘non-binary’ way of thinking and living, and an ode to the power of AND!
Good solutions to problems are rarely “either/or”, decisions are often not wholly right or wrong, and people are hardly ever entirely good or bad. Yet, from early on we are forced to take very binary and two-dimensional decisions.
Early in life, most children are educated in a very ‘black and white’ context, without colourful nuances. Parents and guardians tell their children what is good and bad, what is right and wrong. Most schools have a pass or fail
system, testing pupils with questions that are true or false/right or wrong (and when they’re lucky they get multiple choice). College admission processes have strict cut-offs, and normally only good grades on a CV lead to a respectable first job out of university. A person’s upbringing and education supposedly prepares them for a career and the “real world”; however, this is rarely the case.
I was fortunate enough to be raised and educated in a very autonomous and non-binary way and very lucky that my employers have invested a lot in my personal development. I vividly remember a series of development experiences I was exposed to in the early 2000s, where I internalized four principles that provided so much insight into non-linear and non-binary thinking. More than 20 years later, I still find these immensely useful in my work and personal life, and I hope you find value in them, too.
1. Don’t judge
What we must recognize is that in many instances, there is no absolute truth! This is why having an inclusive approach and diversity of thought in a room, and in your life, is so important for a balanced view of the world and better choices.
2. Don’t make assumptions
I have found that whenever I catch myself making assumptions that start becoming my ‘truths and reality’, I challenge these by checking the facts and having a conversation. I find that things normally only go wrong when the right conversation was missed with the right person at the right time.
3. Apply common sense or ‘Hausverstand’ as we say in Austria
Hausverstand celebrates logic and simplicity above all else. It is the ability to see the simplest possible solution and behave in a reasonable way to make good decisions. Logic matters. Science ought to be taken seriously. Look beyond the complexities and check what is plausible. Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink: The Power of Thinking has a lot so say about this!
4. Learn and move on!
In life we will consistently make mistakes, there is no getting around it. What’s important is to not let these mistakes unnecessarily hold us back or bring us down. I’ve set a rule of thumb for myself where, if I make a disappointing mistake, I give myself 24 hours and then commit to moving on.
In short, life is not binary. We can have lemons AND chirimoyas. And in this spirit have wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year (and forget about New Year’s resolutions).
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